ช่วยให้

there' a certain comfort in the hollowness that allows your body to sink into itself. it makes everything pile up on each other so that even if you move, you can feel the muscles pulling your bones out of a peaceful slumber. there's an ache somewhere but it doesn't matter because if you move, if you so much as breathe, it will ache every where;

the way it seems to ache when they call your name as if they notice that you exist at all.

the way it seems to ache when they push you further back until you are shivering at the thought of your own skin.

the way it seems to ache when you cry, and the sobs stick into your throat and they mistake it for your laughter.

nothing seems to fall right anymore. and somehow you shoulder the guilt of everyone's lack of concern and you collapse. because you were nothing to begin with. how do you hold up the weight of everything when you barely have enough to be something?

so let your destructive thoughts burn this body into ash.

let your flames consume everything you had faithfully choked out of your body because being full meant being empty.

may your cries encage you until you learn to let the water seep into every surface of you that you have left.

let it sting.

because then, at least you still feel something at all.

- dina xx