happy very blessed fourteenth

so this is my fourth post i've written today
BUT THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY SPESHAAAAL
BCUS
IZZAH AQILAH'S BIRTHDAY WOOPZ

okay basically i'll start it off like this:

to my dearest, dearest, godsent of a friend,
to the princess,
to the y to my x ((algebra ref here))
you've been nothing short of a fantabulous friend
and you've honestly deserve nothing short of the world
and maybe
JUST MAYBE
this Mr X character might be worth it
or worthy of youuu (;
any way i didn't know you that well
until like this year?
and we started becoming closer and closer
and BAM
I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU NOW BABY
and really sayang
i don't know what would happen if i lose you
you've become sucha big part of my life now
if you left, i'd definitely notice
thank you for existing my dear lovely
and i hope you remember
nothing is worth hurting yourself over (:
remember that the next time you feel like crap okay?
because i love you sayang
and i know for a fact
so does khalz, and putz, and angelic faggys
and danny
and of course
the man himself;
HAKIM HISHAM
((did i get his name right?))
HAHAHAHA
oh and thank you
because if i didn't know you
i wouldn't have met danial koh
you're amazing for that heh
((i'm totes keeding i would love you even if you didn't intro me to danny))
anyway i digress :x

you deserve to be treated like a princess on your fourteenth
and you will be
and you will enjoy spending your birthday with me
RAAAAIGHT?? HAHAHA
anyway i reallyreally love and cherish you
a lot more than a blog post can say
a lot more than i can say
like there just ain't enough words for it
i just know i love you so much
and you deserve to have a greatastic
fab, bestest birthday everrrr
and i have a feeling you will

SO HAVE A HAPPY BLESSED FOURTEENTH MY LOVE I CAN'T WAIT TO FAHCKING SEE YOU I'M SO SEXCITED HAHAHAHAHA

I LOVE YOU BBYGURL OKAYOKAYOKAY
YOU BETTER FRIKKEN REMEMBER THAT

i love you
sayaaaang izzah

TTFN

-Dina x

everyone wants to know they're not alone

omg have you realised how many of my blog post titles are actually song references?
hahaha anyway that's not the point
the point is

everyone hates that feeling
when you sit there and think
and come to certain
'realizations'
and you just feel like crying
and crying
and flat-out killing yourself
and then you're swallowed by this
hollow, empty feeling
that makes you feel like
like you're nothing
like you mean nothing to nobody
that overwhelming
harrowing feeling
of thinking
you're unconditionally and forever
alone
deafened by the overwhelming silence

but here's the nice part
you're not
okay everyone's heard it
a ton of times
you're not alone
and that i'm always here with you
and you mean more to me
than anyone else
more than anything else
and you know what
it's scary how you never see the beauty in yourself
when you ruin and destroy yourself
just because you are blinded by your own opinions
you never know how much you mean to me
and you never know how afraid i am to lose you
and i'm sorry that i've never shown that to you
how much you really mean to me
but you wouldn't believe me if i said it anyway
but you're worth so much more than i could ever say
i can't emphasize that enough

you're not only my best friend
but
you're also my sister
my family
and i don't know what i'd do without you
and like sisters ofc we've fallen out
of course
we've had our moments
after all
siblings fight right?
anyway
i digress :x

but nurul khalisah
i hope you got the essence of it
and if you still haven't
i swear i will say it everysingleday of forever
until you believe me
i love you.
more than i could ever love anyone else

and remember
even if you feel like no one's there
know that i am
or god is

TTFN

- Dina x

you don't deserve her

okay this post is dedicated
to two of my reallyreallyreally good friends
this took a great deal of thought
and reflection
so I HOPE Y'ALL APPRECIATE IT

okay so you like this guy
and okay he's decent
i mean he doesn't look awful
quite a charmer
hell,
if i didn't meet danial
i'd have a thing for him
but
he's sucha...
well.
he messes with you
he messes with your heart
he messes with your feelings
((but i'm not saying he's not a good kid))
just that
i don't think ANY girl deserves that
especially not you, izzah
because you deserve so so so much better
than a guy
who plays with you like that
like you're not a toy
and i don't want you putting your feelings out there
and then getting hurt
bcus you know
emotional attachment?
well idk
at the same time i really want you to be happy.
and omg this is also a warning to mr x
I SWEAR TO GOD
IF YOU HURT HER
I'M GONNA GRAB MY BAT
AND HIT SOME BALLS
and by that i mean
your balls
i promise you that

okay next one
so you like this guy
a guy who doesn't seem to reciprocate
yeah i've been there
yes i know what it's like
to want someone so so so very bad
someone you can't have
i remember crying night after wretched night
because i wanted him
and he didn't even know i existed
and he kinda knew i liked him?
idk?
but honestly
i think any guy who doesn't give you
the love and attention you deserve
doesn't deserve you
period.
yes you're worthy of so much more than you think
and remember what i said
about after a hurricane comes a rainbow?
well.
you won't agree with me when i say
he's just your hurricane
but it's true
and till your rainbow comes
hang on
and don't worry so much
it's not because you're not good enough
more like he's not worthy of you

to both boys;
you don't deserve her
don't deserve to know how much she thinks about you
how much she adores you
neither of you deserve them.

i got a little bit pissed off writing this
but i'm so glad i finally got it off my chest

maybe i'm hormonal bcus my period is coming idk
but yeah

we accept the love we think we deserve

that quote was quite unnecessary lah but idk
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME
DAMN ESTROGEN

hahahah

TTFN

- Dina x

beauty needs an animal to breathe

a lot of stuff's happened since i last blogged.

for one, season is over.
like wow.
it actually flew past pretty damn fast
and we came out first runner up
((which honestly is just a nice way of saying second))
lol
we lost to MGS at our finals
hahaha
but it's okay
every defeat can only make you stronger, no?
and there were things we could take away from that game
and i'm not sorry it happened (:
so yeaaaahh
HAHAHA
SOFTBALL'S BEEN GREAT :D

but life in general...not so much
((be prepared here comes the sad part))
((i'm sucha loser lol))
anyway

why do people wake up sad?
why is it that when i woke up this morning
i wished i didn't?
why is it that i can't ever feel pretty?
it took me so long to finally
finally appreciate
myself
whywhywhy is it so easy
to take that away from me?
i hate how i hate myself
but at the same time
i know why i do

i don't mean to be attention seeking
when i say
''oh i'm not pretty''
i'm not looking for compliments
really i'm not
it's what i really feel

like hey i'll never be the kind of beautiful you want me to be
neither will i ever be the type of clean you want me to be
i'll never compare...
to so many other people
and i'm absolutely fking terrified i lose you because of that
and i'll never tell you this
because i now what you'll say

you'll never be as beautiful without me; beauty needs an animal to breathe

idk that felt slightly stupid
but that's essentially what i've been feeling

i don't wanna lose you now; i'm looking right at the other half of me. the vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold.

okay the cheesy song references need to staaaahp now HAHAHA
well oh well
anyway.
here's to every 21st
((i did not just say that omg ahahah))
and lasting long??
HAHAHA O GOOD GOD

here's to a great weekend?

TTFN

- Dina x

EID MUBARAK

so it's EIIIIDDD!!!
aka hari raya but no thas too mainstream hehe. so its the second day of syawal and it's so different celebrating eid here in Australia like it's the SAME but it's naht? HAHAHAH anyway it's been raining quite a bit here but yesterday WE SAW THE SUN ALHAMDULILLAH (: and there was so much food and satay oh lordddyyyy it was so damn fun. so many people came over because cik yati had an open house

Yesterday's ootd 

me checking my face HAHAHAH 

CHAKRA

So all in all yesterday was a pretty fun but i was so shagged by the time it dah habis. and like they wanted to go to someone's HOUSE ((at like ten mind you)) and I was like nuuuuu but of course I did and we stayed till midnight and I was so tired but I stayed up bc cuzzy slumber party HAHAHAH and singstar oops gotta love my cousins ♡ so that's all for now I'd say. I'M ROCKING SNAPBACKS AND BAJU MELAYU YHAO.  #YOLO #LLOT ((inside joke oops HAHAHAH))

TTFN
eid mubarak minal aidin wal faiizin


-DINA x

and we meet in the middle

so idk if today was really a bad day or a good day because like so many things HAPPENED faster than I could wrap my finger around it so like lawl idek man. so LET'S START WITH THE MORNING, YAAAAAS.??


Early Morning of August 5th, 2013 

first thought: SHIT I FELL ASLEEP /texts danial frantically and starts apologizing (lol)/
eats sahur in an absolute daze /is it really monday lawl shit ca lawl/
forgets to bring shoes cap and training stuffz (lol fml why do bad things happen to good people lol)

AND THEN YAY EVERYTHING SUSSED ITSELF OUT


School Part of 5th August, 2013 

CA LAWL just wing it dinz whas the worst that could happen?
and lol at by fantab friends who made malay CA okay HAHAH

Danial
Koh
Sexy
Tak
HAHAHAHAH ((danny if you're reading this, it's just an inside joke hehe))

THEN BOOM sudden realization that I am an awfully awful ugly piece of human being. felt like crap. I wish I was/am pretty ):

but then I think everything took an upward as the day progressed which brings me to the next, AND BEST part of the day

Training Part of 5th August, 2013

overall quite a satisfying day and I've realised it'd all be in my head, the way i perform for game tomorrow or any other day. HAHAHAH.

wish me luck for tomorrow y'all

TTFN

-DINA x

darling, you'll be okay...

okay so I really shouldn't be up this late but I thought I should post since I'm trying to keep this thing as active as I possibly can. it is a diary type thing after all. that people read haha. well, I think.

anyway, today, was a good day, I think. of course there was a time period where I just felt like...general crap but weyheyy everyone has their moments yes? but I did break a few promises as well haha oops sorry :x didn't mean to and I regret it so much. BUT HEY RECOVERY AIN'T EASY??? HAHA.

okay next point - so I've met a new friend. his name is danial and he's been nothing but one of the sweetest, nicest person haha like who else can really handle my emo rants and keep me sane and away from doing the stupidest of things? haha so like thanks so much Danny, if you're reading this, hehe. thanks for helping me through...well, a lot. you've been nothing short of a great friend love you ♡

HAHAHAH so that's a wrap for my 4th August post. may y'all have a lovely week ahead (:

TTFN

-DINA x

oh my, twenty-eight

so happy 3rd August ♡

hehe today was a fairly well spent Saturday, I'd say. Woke up at 0430 to sahur at macs and for some reason I wasn't even sleepy. lawl at me HAHAHAH. then after a sausage egg mcmuffin ((or two hehe)), we went home and after subuh I literally slept till noon. I know. omg. haha. BUT I WENT TO STUDY AFTER SO GUESS WHO HAD A PRODUCTIVE STUDY DAY YEY ♡

and after that I want down to kallang to score an Angels vs Medusa game. OR I TRIED TO SCORE HEHEHE. but that's not the point. guess who I saw at kallang /: 

I honestly didn't know if I shoulda been excited or thrown off or neutral to his presence. But honestly it's hard not to spazz when i see him. after all how do you forget the guy who keeps you counting days? AND I SAW JUAN XUN HAHAHA SUCHA SWEET KIDDO. but meh.

26th May, 6th June and now 3rd August lol. DINA U SAHCK HAHAHA. 

"#28 on the field, #1 in my heart." 

dear god. 

TTFN 

-DINA x

MY FAVORITE SEASON

GUESS WHO'S BACK
and fully recovered, i might add (:

ANYWAY
i redid my entire blog and omg i love it even more now? hahaha and are you not jealous of my blog url and like basically everything i really love this. like all the negative energy feels gone now. and o dam all my softball feels hehehe. ITS SEASON NOW! YAY. we're into round two now! we played against RVHS yesterday and we lost by ONE RUN


do u feel my pain? yes, I think u do. BUT IT'S OKAY SHAKE IT OFF NEXT GAME ONE BY ONE YAY ♡

aside from that I've ALSO met a bunch of new people! credits to Izzah and her CTS competition of course hehe. so I've gotten to know Hanis and Sarah Aqilah and Hakim and Danial and Amirul who are lovely people

TOP: Danial & Me
Middle: Lis, Me and Danial
Bottom: Me and my faggot hahaha ♡

so all in all things have been pretty darn great (;

REASONS WHY SOFTBALL SEASON IS MY FAVORITE SEASON YAY HAHAHA ♡ okay I should be all philosophical and leave this post with a quote:

"If you tell me to relax after I made a bad play, you will get yelled at. I know my capabilities and I know I could do better."

don't you ever stop swinging

TTFN.

thatrightfielderrrr
hehe aka dina