quintessentially average

I'm not big on this whole real life thing so let me try to relate this to something because apparently my whole life is a metaphor about trees and wind and the night sky and the galaxies and honestly I doubt its a bad thing. I mean, every snowflake is different but just as beautiful and all that.

but I can't tell if the music I hear that lulls through every background at every event is getting monotonous or if its stagnating and my fear is that one day the conductor will put down his baton and the bows will rest on their strings and the choir stops singing. I am not ready to call it quits. not when I haven't done anything significant enough to bring about the melody of the flutes or the bass of the drums and I can't breathe like this maybe I need to inch myself closer to the stage, maybe the orchestra isn't playing loud enough. I need to block out the noises too please don't be selfish when I get used to it they do too. give me something new please I can't have my lungs choke in the embrace of my own ribs screaming "you're holding on too tight!!!"

shhh. I can't hear the trumpets. shhh I can't hear the alto solo. shh. I'm trying not to get used to this.

- dina x

愛情

you're stupid.

but i hope you know you keep my wrists clean and my smile tattooed onto my face like it was made to sit there.

i hope you know that the stars don't look like stars when your eyes sparkle next to it and they make the moonlight pale in comparison.

and if you forget that i love you, i hope you know to look within you, to look at all the cracks where you've tried to unsuccessfully breathe while your body screamed against it.

i hope you know that its the only way i could inject little pieces of me within you.

i hope you know i love you.

i hope you love me too.

and if you decide that i'm not worth that i hope you know that you have the whole of the heart i had made into glass to smoothen out the rough edges i thought that i had.

i hope you know better then to let it slip onto concrete.

and even if you did, it's okay.

"and i love the way you hurt me; it's irresistible."

-dina xx

veni, vidi, vici

let the rivers take who they might, 

let the currents pull where they flow, 

this ship landed where there was great height 

and baby stay close i'll never let go

i am yours, don't give myself back to me