નીકળો ઘાવ

there's a part of me that wonders what makes it hurt so much because i have methodically ripped to shreds every ounce of emotion i once felt in your presence because you have proved to be undeserving of them. you have proved to only destroy every illusion of happiness, you scratched the sunshine out of her smile. so i'll take a rain check on your desire to destroy me.

but even with the fire engulfing me in all its flames, even with the sun combusting inside of me, i cannot wrap my head around the way your name is still stapled to the roof of my mouth like a lifeline. how could you be? you quit that job long before i had the chance to fire you. you never wanted to hold a position you weren't able to handle but i clung on to your broken promises like i didn't hear the insincerity bubbling from the inside of your throat.

i hope you forget i exist. i hope that you leave long enough for me to let the time wrap gauze around every exit wound where i've let you in again and again and again.

i hope you find someone new to hurt because i am drained empty and i am sorry, because that means i'm all out of use to you.

i'm sorry i could never be enough.

- dina xx