run, or get trampled on.

first of all,
THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY.

finally, finally, finally.
it's been a long week.
an exhaustingly long week.
friday is the perfect closure.
and it's november, after long last.
11 months have gone in this year.
yes, that is so amazingly quick...
can you believe it?
so many things just...happened.
moving on from primary school
to a secondary school
secondary school...
an exhausting world where it seems to be for each her own.
everyone's running
trying so hard to keep up in this race of a life.
and i'm here just...walking.
or maybe jogging, who knows?
i'm just trying not to get trampled on.
because with the rate everyone's going
i won't have much a chance of getting up.

i have been thinking about this.
mama said that the first year would be like...
a test run.
if i can handle it at this school.
and to be honest?
i truly don't think i can.
i keep trying but it's never good enough.
i don't think i'm good enough
for anyone's standard.
maybe when everyone's running ahead, i'm strolling.
geting shoved and hit by people
but refusing to run.
because i can't run with these group of people.
they're too...fast.
okay i'll drop this running metaphor thingy.

my point is.
i don't think i want to do this anymore.
but mama went through SO MUCH
just to help me get into the said school
and this is how i show gratitude?
it's so unfair.
so i'm trying this new thing
where i will think of 5 things i can do
and 5 things i can work on.
every morning.
maybe i'll post it on here.

remember:
don't regret anything because at one point of time
it was something you truly wanted.

so you've heard enough from me.
to a great friday.
if god wills it.
TTFN

- Dina x