self mutilation, analogies, and metaphors

okay this is actually quite a...
difficult subject to broach.
consider it a hard limit.
but since the thought ran around my head a few times today
i need to let it out.

let's begin with the metaphors, shall we?
or are they analogies?
who knows?

alright.
have you ever felt like you're carrying a 100 kilo bag of...
stuff?
but you can't actually see that you're carrying it.
or you're not allowed to see.
you kinda feel like you're carrying weight blindly.
and then people just keep adding to the weight.
so it's frustrating, right?
like you don't know what you're carrying
but you have to carry it anyway?
yeah. and then that frustration builds up
so what do you do?
go against what people tell you to do and you look.
then you realise you're carrying crap and gross things.
so you want to drop it but you can't.
so you keep carrying it
and keep looking.

i don't know where i'm going with this
but i just needed to let it out.
but it's about self-mutilation.
i want to say don't do it.
but that'd make me a hypocrite.
so do what you think is right.
and may that decision grant you happiness.

- Dina x