12:26 AM

there are sounds that make you feel. there is a music that grips your heart in ways. and there's a sound your heart makes when you learn to indulge.

when you're happy, your heart skips to the tune of flamenco dancers amongst a dizzy crowd, trying to figure out if its too early to be drunk or too drunk for it to be this early. when you're happy, the sun leaks golden dewdrops through your bloodstream so that the fire just feels like warmth. like honey skyrocketing through your body, like champagne fizzing in your heart as the neutrons combust to form stars. there's an inexplicable ache that craves you to be this happy again. and god i want to remember. i want to remember the way it hurts to feel my jaw sting from smiling too hard, i want to burn the laughter into my throat so that i don't forget how it sounds, i want to tattoo your face onto the forefront of my mind so that it becomes a place i know how to revisit when the warmth starts to burn out.

when you're sad, the universe pulses through you, as it tries to make it a full orbit. what it doesn't know is that its squeezing you, inside out. the sun blisters inside of you and the rings of saturn try to pierce its way out of your body and the milky way looks for exit wounds to sneak out of. but if you let them out of your body, how can you be sure that you won't drain out completely? how can you be sure that you won't collapse inside yourself? when you try to save a few stars, slitting little spaces to squeeze them out of your system, who's to say your wrists will stop shaking and your eyes will stop trembling? when the tears don't spill out of your body, they are consumed by the black holes that seem to get bigger until you sink into them. when you're sad, your heart stutters and your eyelids tremors and somehow you forget the warmth as the things that were once beautiful tries to kill you.
-dina xx