beauty needs an animal to breathe

a lot of stuff's happened since i last blogged.

for one, season is over.
like wow.
it actually flew past pretty damn fast
and we came out first runner up
((which honestly is just a nice way of saying second))
lol
we lost to MGS at our finals
hahaha
but it's okay
every defeat can only make you stronger, no?
and there were things we could take away from that game
and i'm not sorry it happened (:
so yeaaaahh
HAHAHA
SOFTBALL'S BEEN GREAT :D

but life in general...not so much
((be prepared here comes the sad part))
((i'm sucha loser lol))
anyway

why do people wake up sad?
why is it that when i woke up this morning
i wished i didn't?
why is it that i can't ever feel pretty?
it took me so long to finally
finally appreciate
myself
whywhywhy is it so easy
to take that away from me?
i hate how i hate myself
but at the same time
i know why i do

i don't mean to be attention seeking
when i say
''oh i'm not pretty''
i'm not looking for compliments
really i'm not
it's what i really feel

like hey i'll never be the kind of beautiful you want me to be
neither will i ever be the type of clean you want me to be
i'll never compare...
to so many other people
and i'm absolutely fking terrified i lose you because of that
and i'll never tell you this
because i now what you'll say

you'll never be as beautiful without me; beauty needs an animal to breathe

idk that felt slightly stupid
but that's essentially what i've been feeling

i don't wanna lose you now; i'm looking right at the other half of me. the vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold.

okay the cheesy song references need to staaaahp now HAHAHA
well oh well
anyway.
here's to every 21st
((i did not just say that omg ahahah))
and lasting long??
HAHAHA O GOOD GOD

here's to a great weekend?

TTFN

- Dina x