""great"" expectations

the more you expect something to happen the more it won't. that's probably something I learnt a little too late in life. I'm not gonna deny that I grew up spoilt, because I did. I grew up thinking everything could happen the way I wanted it to simply because I had to have it my way. guess what suckers haha what you don't learn earlier in life, you will learn a tougher way when you're older. 

but why do I still build these great hopes and expect so many things? how is it that I can still dare to wish for things even though I know I could never get? why is it that everytime I've been let down, I build my hopes higher? 

I'm so sick of not meaning a lot to so many people even thought they may mean the world to me. why do I still hope they give a crap? why do I still expect them to love me? it's hard to love someone you can see through. 

haha this is quite a shit valentines day post but lelz I had to get it out somewhere. I hate letting everyone down. l hate letting myself down. I hate that I'm not good enough for any one or anything. I guess sometimes the shadows do win. 

- Dina x